It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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