How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
