I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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