Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
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