wanna go halves on a baby?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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