Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
