I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
