every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
