Christians are straight up FREAKS
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
