This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
