i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
