drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
As shirtless as possible
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
