bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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