Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
