plz talk dirty to me
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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