i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
