ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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