Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
