he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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