found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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