shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
