you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
