AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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