if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
