i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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