we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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