super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
