I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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