if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
