I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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