im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i think im in europe. pls send help
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
