her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The air taste purple.
Randomize
