im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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