Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
