; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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