Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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