Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
