What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
