Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
