We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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