marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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