Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize