Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
