so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
