Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize