I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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