dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
