No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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