All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
