Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
