I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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