Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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