So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
