do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
