Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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