So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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