we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
vagina is talking i cant
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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