Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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