I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
