whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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