yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
