Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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