ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
