Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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