Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
